Kibera Pictures

                                                           Yes, she's praying...so sweet!

                                                                             Kibera

We fed them

                               Doors in Kibera are about as sensible as everything else in Africa...

We fed them spiritually

                                                                            Shamim

                                                                   We clothed them

                                                                 We loved on them

Pictures loaded!!!

                                                                    Cutie Helsbey family

                                                                Look at those eyes! (Paul)

                                                                               Melvin

                                                           The stink eye at its finest

                                                                  Shopping in town

                                                                  We ride shot gun :)

                                                                  Baby Kate Helsby!!

                                                           Saying goodbye to Taylor

    Someone donated 19 tons of food! (I got to make banana pancakes as a result...Praise God!)

                                                       Rebecca, Shauna and Penina
                                                                   It gets crazy...
                              Teaching the kids in Kibera about how God created the world!
                                                             Jane, Jacinta and Naomi

                                                                        Baby Jane

                                                                            Penina

Homesick.

“God has you where you are for a reason”- probably my biggest struggle as a believer.  When I am in Arizona, I am dreaming about Africa. When I am in Africa, I am dreaming about Arizona. I’m sure when I get home I will be dreaming about Haiti or Indonesia or something ridiculous, (sarcasm, I undeniably feel called home long term). Usually I can spot those words leaving someone’s lips before a conversation even starts, but tonight I got them when I wasn’t expecting it.

I know a lot of people can relate to what I’m about to describe, but for most of my friends and even my family it seems just plain suicidal so I will do my best to explain. There are times when I feel so in love with God and who He is that I just want to die so that I can meet Him face to face. I know that I will not experience true peace until I am there. There will always be this aching in me until I am with the Father and that’s something I have learned to live with because I know that aching is solely for God and nothing in this world could fill that void besides Him. I know Charlie Hall gets what I mean because he has a song called “Come for me” that articulates how I feel about this issue. Tori has also always been right there with me on this one. Sometimes we joke about how God is going to keep us alive until we are like 120 just because and then we will be in a nursing home crying together ;)


So, tonight after listening to our usual Francis Chan sermon I was telling Shauna with tears in my eyes about how badly I just wanted to know God, (Francis always reminds me how madly, obsessed, in love I am with the creator). I made it very clear how much I love my life and how I get on my knees every night to praise God for the people He has put in my life and the opportunities He has presented me with, but I am so in love with Him that everything else pales in comparison. I want to know everything about Him so that I can be closer to Him. It’s like being engaged and having your fiance keep secrets about who he is from you. You want to know everything about your fiance because you are going to be devoted to him for the rest of your earthly life. How can you do that to your fullest if you don’t know everything about him? Yet, there are things I will not know about God until I am in heaven and He planned it that way. Just like there are things between a man and a woman that are reserved for after the wedding ceremony.


Knowing this, I was still really frustrated. Shauna just looked at me and here it comes… “God has you where you are for a reason. This life is so short, it’s gone in the blink of an eye and you will spend eternity with God. He wants you to spend this time spreading your love for Him through sharing His gospel with others while you are here on Earth”. Despite its repetitiveness, this time I felt like it really hit home. I don’t know why Africa seems to clarify everything for me. Shauna had insight about that too, attributing it to the fact that we are finally being quiet enough to hear what God is trying to tell us, (I really encourage everyone at home to try this). I think she hit the nail on the head. I can hear things from people all day long but until I sit down and am listening to God, nothing is going to sink in. So for now, I am still homesick (for my eternal home that is) but I am inspired once more to make every minute of this life count for the glory of God until I am called home.

Sheep.

I want to share some of the reasons why I ADORE high school students...

They have HIGH

hopes

ambitions

dreams

They THINK

creatively

purposefully

intentionally

They DON'T

take no for an answer

listen when people say they can't (sometimes this is not a blessing)

get discouraged by logistics

I thought I was going to save the world when I was in high school.  I didn't see obstacles or set backs because I was so blinded by my goals.  Reality was a blur and my dreams were in full focus.  I just wanted to do big things.  Somewhere between then and now my big dreams have turned into inspiring others' big dreams.  I still have my own big dreams, but on top of those I want to motivate, help, and be a part of every big dream that comes from my high school kids.  I want to encourage them to look past the obstacles and set backs because 9 times out of 10 those aren't from God.  I want to reassure them that their age doesn't limit their ability, or their responsibility for that matter.  While their peers are out drinking or doing drugs, they are having wells built in Africa and bibles translated into different languages across the world.  They are making it on Earth as it is in Heaven while juggling homework, football games, homecoming dates, band practice, exams, mean teachers, mean girls, and whatever else the devil is bringing along to distract them with.  I just want to remind them to keep their focus on Christ and as Tori always quotes, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up" -Galations 6:9.

Let's go DO something.

Read this.  Then go here.  Or here.

Other ways to DO something:

1. Call the rescue mission nearest you to find out how you can get involved.  Show up an hour early and plan on leaving an hour after you're scheduled to.  Have conversations with the homeless as the stand outside, waiting to get in.  Bring bottled water, baked cookies, granola bars, patience and a sense of humor.  You'll bless those who cannot bless you in return.

2. Go downtown with a friend or friends (don't go alone).  Buy cups of coffee or a bag of take-out food, find a homeless person sitting around asking for money, share your gifts, and enjoy a conversation.  No agenda, no plans, no purpose other than to be with that person.  You'll be amazed at what unfolds.

3. Is it cold outside?  Go to your closet and grab the sweat, sweatshirt, or coat you keep telling yourself you'll wear sometime but know you won't.  Call up four friends and tell them to do the same.  Go downtown and hand out your warm clothing to the men or women huddled under the overpass or in a doorway.  As you stand there thinking of how cold your nose is, you'll be amazed at the genuine thankfulness of someone whose whole body is probably numb.  And your giving will warm your soul too.

-Under the Overpass by Mike Yankoski

A slightly unexpected calling...

I have often heard it said, “God put people in America and blessed them with everything they have for a reason and He placed other people in poverty stricken, corrupt nations for a reason also.  It is all for a purpose, if God calls you to live in America then it is for His purpose”.  That never sat right with me though.  I always cringed a little bit in my stomach hearing those words.  To me, those words sounded like a glorified excuse for the comfortable life people love in America.  It seemed as though those words satisfied their conscious for not trading in their worldly possessions and giving up a life of luxury to follow Christ even to the outer most parts of the world where poverty and corruption overpower a call to love thy neighbor.  I always wondered why God would call someone to a place like America when they had the ability and resources to bring life to countries that are starving, physically and spiritually.  How could God use them in America where people hear the gospel and turn away.  They confess with their lips but live like hell.  They use their wealth to fatten themselves for the day of the slaughter (James 5:5) and turn away from the suffering going on around the world because it’s too painful to think about.  Additionally, there are people starving for the truth of Christ.  I once heard about a woman who walked for a month to find a white man out in the bush in Papa New Guinea who was giving “the message”.  You tell me that woman was not led by the Holy Spirit.  I doubt someone would walk a month to hear a “message” which they knew nothing about just out of curiosity.  No, that is the Holy Spirit leading someone to the truth at its finest ladies and gentlemen.  How could we ignore those people crying out for Jesus?  Doesn’t the bible say that Jesus will not return and end this war until every nation has had a chance to hear the gospel?  Doesn’t it also say that we are to be the messengers that bring the gospel to those nations, how else will they hear it?  For a while I entertained the idea of being a full time missionary.  Sell all of my possessions, leave my home, friends and family included, Arizona, America, life as I knew it.  I know that this life isn’t about any of those things, this life is about accomplishing Christ’s purpose and making Him famous.

 

A month in Africa has changed my viewpoints in a lot of ways.  I still whole heartedly believe in that calling to leave a life of ease if or when God snaps His fingers and I am prepared to do that.  However, I also better understand what people mean when they say God has certain people in America for a reason.  It has been surprisingly hard for me to relate to people in Kenya.  I have attributed that to cultural differences, which I am sure account for most of the disconnect.  I was born in America and raised in that culture, which I see now as such an opportunity to reach people that I can truly relate to.  My eyes have been opened to the America that is much more than a life of luxury and ease, (funny that I had to come to Africa to do that, but God works in mysterious ways).  Don’t get me wrong, a lot of Americans turn their life into a continual quest for material things, but the people who confess with their tongues and live like hell are the ones who need help.  God gave me an amazing gift to be able to communicate and relate to Americans (obviously, because I am one) and I feel like God wants me to use it for those people who are so confused about what is true in this life.  Chris made the comment about how, “No one can reach Kenyans like a Kenyan can.  There are lifetimes of differences between us and them that separate us enough to make some things extremely difficult to communicate.  We have to walk along side some of the people who truly understand what it means to live like Christ and then motivate them to correct and shepherd others within their community”.  This spoke to me immensely.  It reminded me that I won’t be able to shepherd these people to the extent that they need in a few months time.  If God called me full time to Kenya it would be a different story.  I am not discounting the work that I am doing here, rather humbling myself that there are some things I just can’t do. 

 

Still, I have the opportunity to be that shepherd for people in America.  I can build life long relationships in which I can devote my effort to watching them grow and relating to the bumps they go through along the way like I never could with people here.  I am not saying that God isn’t calling me to missions, I just think His definition of “missions” has been adjusted for me currently.  Yes, I want to go out and be a part of something bigger than America has to offer.  I want to help feed the hungry, give shelter to the homeless, take clean water to the thirsty and spiritual enlightenment to those who are dying for it outside the walls of my own backyard, but I don’t want to neglect the needy who are my neighbors in America either.  The bible says to “help the needy in your land” (Deuteronomy 15:11) and my land is America.  As much as I fought that reality, it is something I am growing to love.  That was another question I got a lot before I came to Africa, “why do you have to go across the world to help people when there are people starving here?”  Well, my heart about that has not changed.  The need in Africa is drastically magnified in comparison to America.  Plus, it is easier for people to serve in the comfort of home and a lot more people would not even think about coming to serve in Africa.  God has wired some people’s hearts for over seas missions and those people need to take advantage of that.  At the same time, I am overjoyed at the thought of coming home to do missions there in between over seas trips.  What I once thought was a calling to full time over seas missions has turned into full time missions no matter where I am.  I feel stupid for not acknowledging that like I should have before I came here, yet grateful that God has given me peace about all of this.

 

For those of you who don’t know, I am coming home September 14^th now.  It was something I prayed about a lot and never guessed God would have laid on my heart, but after confirmation in multiple ways I have decided to be joyfully obedient to Him.  I hope this news is as exciting for everyone at home as it is for me!  Don’t get me wrong though, it’s going to be extremely hard for me to leave Kenya.  God has taught me so much and carved a special place in my heart for everyone I have met here.  I know that this will not be my last trip to Africa, there’s no way I could leave this place and never return after all of the suffering I have seen.  For the time that I will not physically be here, I will be raising awareness and support from home (so get ready for that too haha).  Well, as usual this post is super long so I apologize for my boring ramblings but I hope you enjoy the update!  All my love :)

P.S. Kibera pictures are coming soon but the internet won't let me upload them yet!

Kibera

Africa is making it really hard to write short posts...I have a feeling this will be another long one so bear with me!

First, I want to say thank you SO much to all of Chris and Lindy's friends and family who posted on my blog.  I feel so blessed to have met them and in turn been introduced to you.  Paige, I did see the picture of you on the fridge! You are absolutely beautiful, know that the Thompson's miss you so much.  Beth, Levi is the most precious baby ever!  Lindy was showing us pictures when we went over for dinner and we all fell in love.  Thank you for commenting, you're right- Chris and Lindy are amazing so thank you for sharing them with Kenya!

Well, on Thursday we had the privilege of going to Kibera with Chris and Lindy.  Chris does street evangelism with some pastors there and Lindy helps out in a school.  We predicted that the weather would be a good indication of what kind of feelings the day would bring and we were right.  Grey skies and drizzly rain mirrored the tears I would cry when I got home that night.  We were greeted with open arms by the sweetest family when we got there.  After taking some chai and officially meeting the pastors family, we were taken over to a small school behind their home.  The children were so sweet as they recited bible verses and sang songs about Jesus' love.  This was only the beginning of adorable children and songs of worship that filled our day.  From the school we left to pray for a woman who has been sick with pneumonia.  We piled into a cramped living room, gathered around a woman who was shaking from fever and we talked to her about salvation then prayed for her health, family and born again husband.  Then we parted ways with Chris so that he could talk to the people off the streets about salvation found in Christ and we could go to the school that Lindy helps at.  The walk was certainly eventful as we straddled a moving train and a trench that led straight down to a current of sewage.  This led us to a small area of town where vendors sold fruit, power strips and skirt wraps, typical combination of goods I know.  These little shops had a foundation of garbage and human waste, just like all of the ground in Kibera, and utilized rusty tin and decrepit wood as their walls.

To get to the school we had to climb down hill a little ways...Now imagine this, four mzungus (white girls) trampling down rocky, uneven ground in every attempt possible not to slip and fall into the mounds of wet human waste and mud that lurked below our feet.  Let's just say it was quite comical but God heard our prayers and carried us cleanly to our destination.  When we got to the "school", which was more like a release from the monotony of staying at home from 5am to 9pm while their parents work, the children were screaming and cheering for us.  It was quite the welcome!  There were 12 of them that gathered around and sang songs about "happy families" and praising God, (it took everything in me not to cry).  In return, we performed songs for them and then fed them lunch.  Lindy made amazing rice, beans and chicken and the children were more than grateful.  One of the little girls was 10 years old and she took care of her brothers who were 7 and 4.  Brian, the 7 year old, looked like he was 2 because of the worms in his body that devoured the little food that he did receive.  His brother was about the same size for the same reasons.  Lindy guesses that they rarely get food because the last time she came they were stuffing their pockets with the left over food.  You could guess that they have never seen a camera either because they all started screaming with joy when Taylor took their picture.  Their little faces lit up and produced smiles that were comparable to all of the children in Kenya, captivating.  At 12 the children left to go back to their homes and wait until their parents got home.  Leaving there was so hard.  I wanted to stay and spend the night with the children.  I felt guilty coming home to Huruma after being at Kibera.  It made me realize how much Mama does for these children at the home and how fortunate they are here.  The children at Huruma have food, clothes on their back, clean water, a warm bed.  Kibera made Huruma look like paradise, if you can imagine that.  I came home feeling completely selfish and to be honest, pissed.  I was so frustrated with my lifestyle when these people have nothing.  I know they have God and that is so comforting to see, but as for basic, physical necessities they have nothing.  I kept thinking about how hard it is going to be to come home to the US after seeing all of that.  Shauna was talking about how she has heard about the poverty and how deeply it affected her after hearing it, but now that she has faces and names and stories to associate with the poverty it is almost unbearable to think about.  I completely related to that statement.  I read on one of Lindy's friend's blogs that said, "with knowledge comes great responsibility" but I don't know what God wants me to do about the injustices I have seen.  I wish it was in my power to control everything in Kibera.  Control in the sense that I had the ability to provide clean water, food, decent shelter and love for all of these people but I know that isn't possible and that it is going to take more than all that I have to give to free them from the poverty they are slaves to.  I read Deuteronomy 15:12 today that says, "There will always be poor people in the land.  Therefore, I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land."  It reminds me of something that Jeff Royce taught me, God will never ask you for more than you have to give but what He does bless you with, He wants you to use it all for His glory.  I think this is what God is going to hold me accountable for, doing my part with what I have.  To not let the circumstances of Kibera overwhelm me, but instead to be empowered by the ways that I can contribute no matter how small that contribution may be.  Please pray for the people in Kibera and the children at Huruma, that they would trust in the Lord to make straight their path.  As you lay down to sleep in the comfort of your home, remember these children and pray that God would shower them with His love at night when they sleep in streets of corruption and disease.  My heart is not to give a guilt trip, but rather to open people's eyes to the injustices that are taking place across the world in hopes that they would make a choice to take a stand against it and aid in the efforts to make a difference.