Keira Grace

For your enjoyment :)

2009-01-10T15:45:00.000-08:00

Tori and I got to see the Kensington rehearsal today (they were AMAZING) and now we are waiting to go see David Crowder, Shawn McDonald and the Robbie Seay Band...this is what happened next:

That's the "Yeah, that's funny!!" face :)

BABIES! And then some...

2008-12-28T14:24:00.000-08:00

Chris and Lindy have some extremely exciting news for all of you...HOORAY!!!!

So, I just spent the past three days in Cali with my family for Christmas. It wasn't exactly the family vacation I had pictured, but then again I don't know why I would have thought it was going to be all puppies and roses-not too much in life is. Let's just say there are a few dynamics happening in my family that I am not in full support of and instead of keeping my mouth shut to avoid being quarrelsome, my opinions usually come out tactlessly. As mush as I disagree with some of the things that happen, voicing what I think is right in a way that I always regret it later is probably not the best option either. I often feel stuck between standing up when it's necessary but not my place or biting my tongue and watching the effects of it. It's probably all a control issue anyway, I feel helpless most of the time and that frustrates the heck out of me but I am positive God used this weekend to humble me a lot.

Needless to say, I was pretty ready to come home and for good reason because I got to see my BEAUTIFUL Shan, Tori and Breanna. Worship was great in the 5pm service and Jeff did the message so you know that was good. Then we got dinner and Golden Spoon and got to spend some time in good conversations. I even met Jenna finally! This has been a long awaited meeting. I feel like God used this night to lift my spirits again.

Then, I got on Facebook and clicked on Shauna's page only to find that she had posted pictures of her trip to Israel. I literally sat at my computer just crying looking at her pictures. She walked where Jesus walked. Saw where He washed the feet of His disciples. Went to the Sea of Galilee. Saw Mary's tomb. You have got to be kidding me. There was something overwhelmingly sacred, holy, REAL about looking at those images and knowing that Shauna stepped in each of those places. JESUS CHRIST, GOD, WAS IN THOSE PLACES! Can you believe that?! Sometimes I think we get so wrapped up in OUR life, OUR wants, OUR "needs", OUR pains, OUR pressures and we forget that Christ went through the ultimate suffering. "Because He himself suffered when He was tempted, He is able to help those who are being tempted" Hebrews 2:18. This life is about Christ and His kingdom being furthered, not OURs. I think it's crucial that we stop and take a look at our lives sometimes, are we really in pursuit of making heaven on Earth? Are we seeking first His kingdom, are we after His heart, are we pursuing ALL things for His glory? He can only help us through our suffering if we let Him. And, wouldn't you rather be suffering for something bigger than this life? If I'm going to suffer, I want it to be for the sake of the gospel, for Christ, for His kingdom. All I am is His.

What are you spending money on this CHRISTmas?

2008-12-20T18:53:00.000-08:00

CLICK ON THIS AND THEN DO (yes, that means take action) AT LEAST ONE OF THESE THINGS! GREATTTTT CHRISTMAS IDEAS :)

North Carolina!!

2008-12-19T12:07:00.000-08:00

I just got home from 4 full days in North Carolina (and 2 days of ridiculous traveling-3 cancelled flights, delays, etc.) and I miss it already! I feel like I have so much to blog about from this trip that I don't know where to start.

Chris & Lindy

This is truly a couple after the Lord's heart. After listening to stories from Chris and Lindy about their time in Kenya and everything God is doing through them there, it sparked my desire to be a servant as they are and as God calls us to be. I feel like I have been severely distracted by so many things in AZ since I've been home and it has been effecting my devotional time. Recently, I have been fighting to spend time with God and pick up on His voice; it has been an unwanted struggle. This weekend was a refreshing reminder to slow down and focus my eyes on Christ. Lindy's parents are unbelievably amazing. They were so sweet to welcome me in and let me stay with them (even an extra night). Max's delicious breakfasts were enough to make me gain 10 pounds, and they were well worth it! Lindy's mom is so sweet, I really can't say enough great things about her hospitality. I also FINALLY got to meet Mr. Levi Rollins for the first time! After seeing all of his adorable pictures in Africa, which did not do him justice, it was nice to spend some time with precious baby Levi and meet Beth and Matt (Lindy's brother and sister in law). Their family is tender :)

Friday Lindy, Max and I got the opportunity to go up to Blue Ridge Mountain and stay the night with Lindy's grandma. It was absolutely beautiful and guess what, God even gave us snow! It was only a few flurries, but I was elated! After a delicious home cooked meal, Lindy's grandma beat us all in an intense game of Scrabble. Then on Saturday Lindy and I got to 4 wheel around the mountains, taking in the breathtaking scenery. Lex Luther (their dog) even followed us for a while. At one point we found a horse and I felt it necessary to braid its hair :) Then on the way back we stopped by a creek to look at the icicles and we came across a log. Lindy asked if I thought we could "jump it", in which I responded, "no." Well, we tried it anyway and completely got it stuck! Haha, luckily we are strong ladies and were able to push it over the log the rest of the way! Below are pictures for your enjoyment.

The Beaver family

That night I got to meet another family in active pursuit of God's will. Their story is remarkable and I encourage everyone to check out their blog. Jessica and Luke are truly heroes in my eyes for everything they do on a day to day basis. We got to play homemade Boulderdash. How do you do that you ask...you pick random words out of the dictionary and then everyone has to guess the definition or make up one that they find fitting. Needless to say, it turned out super funny! It was really great to spend some time with them and hear about God's calling for their lives.

The next day I had the pleasure of being introduced to Kim, Casey, Sam and Joe. These are really close friends of Chris and Lindy's. That night we played a game called "Quip it" which turned out to be rather hysterical. "I'm crazy hampster cage lady. I have a cage full of hungry gerbals on my chest so give me some candy!!" (that's for you Chris &Lindy). The next day Kim told Lindy she had something for me before I went home so we stopped by and helped her and the boys bake gingerbread cookies. Some of you know about the framed picture of Kibera with the "God of This City" lyrics by Chris Tomlin on it that Chris and Lindy have in their home in Kenya. Well, I told Kim the story about how when I spoke at Cornerstone they played that song and all I could think about was that picture and I just started crying. Wouldn't you know, she had an extra copy of it and had it framed for me! You know I cried all over again when she handed it to me.
Oh, and just to paint a picture of Joe and Sam (Kim and Casey's little boys), while Chris and Lindy were in Africa they saved up their allowance, which turned out to be $15 to buy Hotwheels toys for the kids in Kibera! How many little boys give up their allowances so that children on the other side of the world can have toys? When Lindy and I were over on Monday Joe asked Lindy when he could go to Africa! Now that sounds like a missionary in the making :) a true servant willing to follow God anywhere, bless his heart. Let's just say spending time with their family was such a blessing.

The Bowers Family

Lastly, my flight was cancelled on Monday night and rescheduled to Tuesday morning at 6am (a flight that was also cancelled, but that's another story). That meant I got to go out to dinner with Chris & Lindy, the pastor of their church Michael and his beautiful wife Emily. Let's just say I was sitting at the Olive Garden dinner table in tears after hearing Michael and Emily share their story. This couple has three beautiful children and is in the middle of adopting a baby girl from Ethiopia. This process has been extremely long and emotionally draining, but God has been noticeably working in their family's lives throughout it. Emily explained that it has given them a fresh set of eyes on what it means to be in the adopted family of God. Michael chimed in with how it has and will continue to be the ultimate way to show their children what this Love looks like. To reach out to this baby girl who might never be shown true love and what it means to love/be loved and then bring her into a family and share Christ's love with her is the perfect portrayal of what God has done for us. They know God has laid this upon their hearts and will fully equip them for the work they are about to do. It's no secret that there will be trials as this blessing is welcomed into their care, but that only makes their reliance on and trust in the Lord that much more inspiring.

I can't even believe all of the amazing Godly families I met over the past few days. Every time Chris and Lindy introduced me to someone new I was blown away by their open-armed kindness and passion for the Lord. I kept thinking, "this is how I want my family to look someday" and every time I met a new family, I felt the same way. I did not meet one person over the weekend that I didn't wasn't motivated and encouraged by to walk humbly with our God.

Previous Blog Explained.

2008-12-09T15:00:00.000-08:00

Many people have come to me concerned about my last post so I am sorry I have not addressed it sooner, but here is the necessary explanation and the source of my last blog. I am currently taking a Women's Studies course at ASU and throughout the class numerous issues have come up in relation to feminism, abortion and religion. I am happy to report that I have taken the opportunities to lovingly and tactfully handle all of the arguments made in opposition to the bible. This post in particular caught my attention because at first glance I felt challenged. Nothing about the comparison sat right with me, but I had trouble defining why I felt that way. I posted it on my blog and Facebook to see how other people would respond to it. I was definitely pleasantly surprised with the intense and intelligent responses. Just to make it clear, I do NOT think the two situations are even remotely comparable and I made that very clear in my assignment for the course. It surprised me how many people in my class argued that abortion is essential for "women's freedom". Almost every single response posted took that stance. It just further supports my belief that ASU needs A LOT of prayer, along with countless other colleges across the country. Also, my views on abortion are in complete alignment with Todd Philip's blog which is accessible if you click on his name from my last post. Keep your thoughts comin guys!

Abortion...but probably not what you would expect.

2008-11-18T17:59:00.000-08:00

Imagine you wake up one morning to find a stranger in bed next to you. Before you can even scream, another person walks into the room and tells you that this individual in bed with you is a famous violinist whose kidneys failed during the night. Somehow you were selected as a match for this person's blood type, etc., and during the night you were kidnapped, drugged, and brought to this room where the violinist was essentially hooked up to your kidneys. In order for him to survive, you must remain hooked up to him for the next nine months. If you disconnect, he will die.

The question is: Should you be legally required to remain tethered to the violinist? What about morally?

How is this different from requiring a woman who has been raped to carry a pregnancy to term?

I really want everyone's opinions on this one. I will share my viewpoints in my next post.

As for the abortion discussion, Todd Phillips has and EXCELLENT argument that you should probably check out.

I know I haven't blogged since Africa, but I'm hoping that will change soon :)

Keira in LONDON!

2008-09-08T10:37:00.000-07:00

Yes! I made it to London! This will be a quick update on the past four days, which have been the longest ever. Saying good bye to Huruma was hard, but it's harder actually being gone. I miss Shauna so much and everything reminds me of her. Chris and Lindy told us we acted like an old married couple and to be honest I understand why. I love her.

London is amazing. I ended up waiting for 2 hours in the airport looking for my mom, turns out she missed her flight from Chicago to London because of a hurricane. I couldn't get a hold of my dad because he was in Mexico so luckily I got a hold of someone in his office who my mom had left the information with. I made it on a train and to the hotel all on my own :) ...yes, I'm a big girl now haha. My mom showed up a few hours later and now we have been walking around London non stop for the past three days. It's definitely good and I could use exercise after the weight that I gained in Africa...I totally thought I would lose weight but turns out potatoes, beans and rice, (along with comfort chocolate everyday) makes you put pounds on, not take them off. Everything in London is absolutely beautiful; the architecture, the lush green scenery, the boys with british accents. Needless to say, I'm having a great time and I'm convinced I have to bring Shannon back here.

It's such a strange mix of emotions being here. It is taking my attention off Huruma in some ways and reminding me of it even more in others. Obviously Shauna and those kids are in my thoughts and prayers constantly, but the excitement of London has eased the pain of being separated from them. I know it's going to be like a stab in my heart when I'm sitting at home, looking at pictures and realizing how far I am from them. At the same time, being in these classy stores where people are spending hundreds and thousands of dollars on clothes, purses, shoes...it's disgusting. I told my mom I want to take pictures of Kibera blown up and walk around the stores with them in my hands. She didn't think that would go over too well. All of this still kind of feels like a dream and I don't think it's truly hit me that I've left Kenya. On the other hand, I'm ecstatic that I get to see all of my friends and family in 6 days!! Yay!

Tomorrow morning we leave for Paris. This surely is a dream come true and I am overflowing with gratefulness for the blessings God has given me.

Spiders.

2008-09-02T13:26:00.001-07:00

So it turns out the bite on my leg is most likely from a spider. It should clear up in a few days and I will be just fine :)

BUT...I think I found the culprit.

Unfortunately, Shauna and I freaked out when we were trying to kill it so now it is roaming around our home somewhere...probably waiting for us to go to sleep so it can crawl in our mouths and attack. Ew. Ew. Ew. I hate spiders...we do not get along well!

Special thanks to Lindy for posting the lovely video!!

Proverbs 21:13

2008-09-01T00:11:00.000-07:00

Saturday night was eventful to say the least and probably one of the most amazing experiences. After wandering around the Maasai Market all day with Caroline and Shauna, Chris and Lindy invited us over for dinner. Lindy's best friend Joy is here from North Carolina and staying with them until they go back in October so we wanted to meet her. She is adorable and I completely understand why Lindy is obsessed with her! She is humble, but funny and sweet and has this amazing heart for others. I feel like Lindy and I are long lost sisters because of the way we have clicked so well and we have everything in common, so I'm not surprised at how quickly I fell in love with Joy as well. Anyway, I have a bite on my leg and I showed it to Lindy because she is a nurse. At first, because of how red and swollen it was, it didn't look like a bite and Lindy thought it might be a DVT or blood clot. Immediately she called the doctor to have it checked out just in case. Since it was Saturday night the hospital wasn't open, but they know a Kenyan-American doctor who had someone escort us in and then take a look at my leg. Unfortunately, they couldn't tell me what was wrong with it but they gave me medicine and told me to check back in if it gets worse. It is very clear to me now that it is a bite and it hasn't gotten better but it hasn't gotten worse so I'm sure I will be fine!

Now for the best part of the story. After the doctor finished with me we asked him if we could walk around the women's ward and pray over them, to which he amiably agreed. The first room we went into had visitors. I'm almost positive they were Catholic, it was a man and a woman who were visiting another elderly woman. They were overjoyed at our offer to pray for her and accepted with smiles. After Lindy finished the prayer we walked over to the other two women who were laying in beds on the opposite side of the wall. We explained that we had just prayed for them and introduced ourselves. Both of them, though lethargic, showed their gratitude. After the first room we decided it best to divide and conquer so we split up and individually laid hands on the women and prayed for them. All in all we probably prayed for over 20 women. The last room we entered was truly something out of a movie, later to find out they were the HIV/AIDS victims. The first woman I saw was Elizabeth. She was as thin as the frigid bars that held her makeshift bed together. Her bones seemed to be fighting their way out of her skin, as if they were trying to escape the clutches of disease that was claiming her life. Her rugged hospital gown dangled loosely, awkward and exposing scars across her chest. I grabbed hold of her and begged God to heal her. I prayed for Him to give her His strength, physically and spiritually, to fight for her life. That He would bring her joy and love, in knowing that He was there with her. I prayed the thought of heaven would be comforting and uplifting to her that one day she would be in paradise with the Father. Looking back at my prayer, I can only say another that she has accepted Christ and that promise of heaven is hers to claim triumphantly. The health of the last woman I prayed for was comparable to Elizabeth's. She grabbed my hand and held it tight and I placed my other one around her back. Once again, I prayed for God to heal her and to reveal His love for her as I tried my best to be a symbol of Christ's love through my embrace.

As we left I told the women that we would be continually praying for them. I looked them in the eyes and told them "God bless you", but somehow those words took on a whole new meaning in that context. When you are saying "God bless you" to a woman who is expecting the Lord to call her home, knowing He could do so any second, or a child who goes home to a sewage infested shack at night, fearing starvation, disease, rape, or worse could seek them out at any moment, it really takes on new meaning. I don't think I have ever said anything with such a desire to see it lived out. This was a different feeling than being in the slums of Maithare or Kibera. In Kibera I almost get discouraged because of the overwhelming poverty that has debilitated over a million lives. Praying for these women was actually uplifting. I didn't feel the usual helplessness that has seemed to dictate a lot of my time here. I felt like I was actually truly making a difference in these lives, whether that is a valid feeling or not I don't know but I'd venture to say it is.

This might sound extremely strange, but I'm willing to risk that for the sake of an honest description of what this experience was like. At some moments, when I was holding these women, I truly felt the transfer of the Holy Spirit. I felt as though the Lord broke through the barrier of despair and brought peace. The appreciation shown on their faces and as Lindy pointed out, probably for good reason. I wonder how often people, mzungus no less, come and pray for these women. Their gratitude was probably also mixed with astonishment that someone cared enough to come and share Christ's love. Obviously, this was unlike anything I have ever done and I can only pray that the feelings I felt, faces I prayed for and motivation to share Christ in this way would not fade. I wish I had pictures to help relay the image of this event, but I guess my inadequate words will have to suffice. I know they could never do justice, as usual, to the sights, smells, or emotions that have changed my heart here but they offer a miniscule window into my experience.

Kibera Pictures

2008-08-21T10:18:00.003-07:00

Yes, she's praying...so sweet!

Kibera

We fed them

Doors in Kibera are about as sensible as everything else in Africa...

We fed them spiritually

Shamim

We clothed them

We loved on them

Pictures loaded!!!

2008-08-21T09:31:00.000-07:00

Cutie Helsbey family

Look at those eyes! (Paul)

Melvin

The stink eye at its finest

Shopping in town

We ride shot gun :)

Baby Kate Helsby!!

Saying goodbye to Taylor

Someone donated 19 tons of food! (I got to make banana pancakes as a result...Praise God!)

   Rebecca, Shauna and Penina
   It gets crazy...
   Teaching the kids in Kibera about how God created the world!
   Jane, Jacinta and Naomi

Baby Jane

Penina

Homesick.

2008-08-16T13:19:00.000-07:00

“God has you where you are for a reason”- probably my biggest struggle as a believer. When I am in Arizona, I am dreaming about Africa. When I am in Africa, I am dreaming about Arizona. I’m sure when I get home I will be dreaming about Haiti or Indonesia or something ridiculous, (sarcasm, I undeniably feel called home long term). Usually I can spot those words leaving someone’s lips before a conversation even starts, but tonight I got them when I wasn’t expecting it.

I know a lot of people can relate to what I’m about to describe, but for most of my friends and even my family it seems just plain suicidal so I will do my best to explain. There are times when I feel so in love with God and who He is that I just want to die so that I can meet Him face to face. I know that I will not experience true peace until I am there. There will always be this aching in me until I am with the Father and that’s something I have learned to live with because I know that aching is solely for God and nothing in this world could fill that void besides Him. I know Charlie Hall gets what I mean because he has a song called “Come for me” that articulates how I feel about this issue. Tori has also always been right there with me on this one. Sometimes we joke about how God is going to keep us alive until we are like 120 just because and then we will be in a nursing home crying together ;)

So, tonight after listening to our usual Francis Chan sermon I was telling Shauna with tears in my eyes about how badly I just wanted to know God, (Francis always reminds me how madly, obsessed, in love I am with the creator). I made it very clear how much I love my life and how I get on my knees every night to praise God for the people He has put in my life and the opportunities He has presented me with, but I am so in love with Him that everything else pales in comparison. I want to know everything about Him so that I can be closer to Him. It’s like being engaged and having your fiance keep secrets about who he is from you. You want to know everything about your fiance because you are going to be devoted to him for the rest of your earthly life. How can you do that to your fullest if you don’t know everything about him? Yet, there are things I will not know about God until I am in heaven and He planned it that way. Just like there are things between a man and a woman that are reserved for after the wedding ceremony.

Knowing this, I was still really frustrated. Shauna just looked at me and here it comes… “God has you where you are for a reason. This life is so short, it’s gone in the blink of an eye and you will spend eternity with God. He wants you to spend this time spreading your love for Him through sharing His gospel with others while you are here on Earth”. Despite its repetitiveness, this time I felt like it really hit home. I don’t know why Africa seems to clarify everything for me. Shauna had insight about that too, attributing it to the fact that we are finally being quiet enough to hear what God is trying to tell us, (I really encourage everyone at home to try this). I think she hit the nail on the head. I can hear things from people all day long but until I sit down and am listening to God, nothing is going to sink in. So for now, I am still homesick (for my eternal home that is) but I am inspired once more to make every minute of this life count for the glory of God until I am called home.

Sheep.

2008-08-16T11:37:00.001-07:00

I want to share some of the reasons why I ADORE high school students...

They have HIGH

hopes

ambitions

dreams

They THINK

creatively

purposefully

intentionally

They DON'T

take no for an answer

listen when people say they can't (sometimes this is not a blessing)

get discouraged by logistics

I thought I was going to save the world when I was in high school. I didn't see obstacles or set backs because I was so blinded by my goals. Reality was a blur and my dreams were in full focus. I just wanted to do big things. Somewhere between then and now my big dreams have turned into inspiring others' big dreams. I still have my own big dreams, but on top of those I want to motivate, help, and be a part of every big dream that comes from my high school kids. I want to encourage them to look past the obstacles and set backs because 9 times out of 10 those aren't from God. I want to reassure them that their age doesn't limit their ability, or their responsibility for that matter. While their peers are out drinking or doing drugs, they are having wells built in Africa and bibles translated into different languages across the world. They are making it on Earth as it is in Heaven while juggling homework, football games, homecoming dates, band practice, exams, mean teachers, mean girls, and whatever else the devil is bringing along to distract them with. I just want to remind them to keep their focus on Christ and as Tori always quotes, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up" -Galations 6:9.

Let's go DO something.

2008-08-14T06:45:00.000-07:00

Read this. Then go here. Or here.

Other ways to DO something:

1. Call the rescue mission nearest you to find out how you can get involved. Show up an hour early and plan on leaving an hour after you're scheduled to. Have conversations with the homeless as the stand outside, waiting to get in. Bring bottled water, baked cookies, granola bars, patience and a sense of humor. You'll bless those who cannot bless you in return.

2. Go downtown with a friend or friends (don't go alone). Buy cups of coffee or a bag of take-out food, find a homeless person sitting around asking for money, share your gifts, and enjoy a conversation. No agenda, no plans, no purpose other than to be with that person. You'll be amazed at what unfolds.

3. Is it cold outside? Go to your closet and grab the sweat, sweatshirt, or coat you keep telling yourself you'll wear sometime but know you won't. Call up four friends and tell them to do the same. Go downtown and hand out your warm clothing to the men or women huddled under the overpass or in a doorway. As you stand there thinking of how cold your nose is, you'll be amazed at the genuine thankfulness of someone whose whole body is probably numb. And your giving will warm your soul too.

-Under the Overpass by Mike Yankoski

A slightly unexpected calling...

2008-08-13T11:55:00.000-07:00

I have often heard it said, “God put people in America and blessed them with everything they have for a reason and He placed other people in poverty stricken, corrupt nations for a reason also. It is all for a purpose, if God calls you to live in America then it is for His purpose”. That never sat right with me though. I always cringed a little bit in my stomach hearing those words. To me, those words sounded like a glorified excuse for the comfortable life people love in America. It seemed as though those words satisfied their conscious for not trading in their worldly possessions and giving up a life of luxury to follow Christ even to the outer most parts of the world where poverty and corruption overpower a call to love thy neighbor. I always wondered why God would call someone to a place like America when they had the ability and resources to bring life to countries that are starving, physically and spiritually. How could God use them in America where people hear the gospel and turn away. They confess with their lips but live like hell. They use their wealth to fatten themselves for the day of the slaughter (James 5:5) and turn away from the suffering going on around the world because it’s too painful to think about. Additionally, there are people starving for the truth of Christ. I once heard about a woman who walked for a month to find a white man out in the bush in Papa New Guinea who was giving “the message”. You tell me that woman was not led by the Holy Spirit. I doubt someone would walk a month to hear a “message” which they knew nothing about just out of curiosity. No, that is the Holy Spirit leading someone to the truth at its finest ladies and gentlemen. How could we ignore those people crying out for Jesus? Doesn’t the bible say that Jesus will not return and end this war until every nation has had a chance to hear the gospel? Doesn’t it also say that we are to be the messengers that bring the gospel to those nations, how else will they hear it? For a while I entertained the idea of being a full time missionary. Sell all of my possessions, leave my home, friends and family included, Arizona, America, life as I knew it. I know that this life isn’t about any of those things, this life is about accomplishing Christ’s purpose and making Him famous.

A month in Africa has changed my viewpoints in a lot of ways. I still whole heartedly believe in that calling to leave a life of ease if or when God snaps His fingers and I am prepared to do that. However, I also better understand what people mean when they say God has certain people in America for a reason. It has been surprisingly hard for me to relate to people in Kenya. I have attributed that to cultural differences, which I am sure account for most of the disconnect. I was born in America and raised in that culture, which I see now as such an opportunity to reach people that I can truly relate to. My eyes have been opened to the America that is much more than a life of luxury and ease, (funny that I had to come to Africa to do that, but God works in mysterious ways). Don’t get me wrong, a lot of Americans turn their life into a continual quest for material things, but the people who confess with their tongues and live like hell are the ones who need help. God gave me an amazing gift to be able to communicate and relate to Americans (obviously, because I am one) and I feel like God wants me to use it for those people who are so confused about what is true in this life. Chris made the comment about how, “No one can reach Kenyans like a Kenyan can. There are lifetimes of differences between us and them that separate us enough to make some things extremely difficult to communicate. We have to walk along side some of the people who truly understand what it means to live like Christ and then motivate them to correct and shepherd others within their community”. This spoke to me immensely. It reminded me that I won’t be able to shepherd these people to the extent that they need in a few months time. If God called me full time to Kenya it would be a different story. I am not discounting the work that I am doing here, rather humbling myself that there are some things I just can’t do.

Still, I have the opportunity to be that shepherd for people in America. I can build life long relationships in which I can devote my effort to watching them grow and relating to the bumps they go through along the way like I never could with people here. I am not saying that God isn’t calling me to missions, I just think His definition of “missions” has been adjusted for me currently. Yes, I want to go out and be a part of something bigger than America has to offer. I want to help feed the hungry, give shelter to the homeless, take clean water to the thirsty and spiritual enlightenment to those who are dying for it outside the walls of my own backyard, but I don’t want to neglect the needy who are my neighbors in America either. The bible says to “help the needy in your land” (Deuteronomy 15:11) and my land is America. As much as I fought that reality, it is something I am growing to love. That was another question I got a lot before I came to Africa, “why do you have to go across the world to help people when there are people starving here?” Well, my heart about that has not changed. The need in Africa is drastically magnified in comparison to America. Plus, it is easier for people to serve in the comfort of home and a lot more people would not even think about coming to serve in Africa. God has wired some people’s hearts for over seas missions and those people need to take advantage of that. At the same time, I am overjoyed at the thought of coming home to do missions there in between over seas trips. What I once thought was a calling to full time over seas missions has turned into full time missions no matter where I am. I feel stupid for not acknowledging that like I should have before I came here, yet grateful that God has given me peace about all of this.

For those of you who don’t know, I am coming home September 14^th now. It was something I prayed about a lot and never guessed God would have laid on my heart, but after confirmation in multiple ways I have decided to be joyfully obedient to Him. I hope this news is as exciting for everyone at home as it is for me! Don’t get me wrong though, it’s going to be extremely hard for me to leave Kenya. God has taught me so much and carved a special place in my heart for everyone I have met here. I know that this will not be my last trip to Africa, there’s no way I could leave this place and never return after all of the suffering I have seen. For the time that I will not physically be here, I will be raising awareness and support from home (so get ready for that too haha). Well, as usual this post is super long so I apologize for my boring ramblings but I hope you enjoy the update! All my love :)

P.S. Kibera pictures are coming soon but the internet won't let me upload them yet!

Kibera

2008-08-03T06:50:00.000-07:00

Africa is making it really hard to write short posts...I have a feeling this will be another long one so bear with me!

First, I want to say thank you SO much to all of Chris and Lindy's friends and family who posted on my blog. I feel so blessed to have met them and in turn been introduced to you. Paige, I did see the picture of you on the fridge! You are absolutely beautiful, know that the Thompson's miss you so much. Beth, Levi is the most precious baby ever! Lindy was showing us pictures when we went over for dinner and we all fell in love. Thank you for commenting, you're right- Chris and Lindy are amazing so thank you for sharing them with Kenya!

Well, on Thursday we had the privilege of going to Kibera with Chris and Lindy. Chris does street evangelism with some pastors there and Lindy helps out in a school. We predicted that the weather would be a good indication of what kind of feelings the day would bring and we were right. Grey skies and drizzly rain mirrored the tears I would cry when I got home that night. We were greeted with open arms by the sweetest family when we got there. After taking some chai and officially meeting the pastors family, we were taken over to a small school behind their home. The children were so sweet as they recited bible verses and sang songs about Jesus' love. This was only the beginning of adorable children and songs of worship that filled our day. From the school we left to pray for a woman who has been sick with pneumonia. We piled into a cramped living room, gathered around a woman who was shaking from fever and we talked to her about salvation then prayed for her health, family and born again husband. Then we parted ways with Chris so that he could talk to the people off the streets about salvation found in Christ and we could go to the school that Lindy helps at. The walk was certainly eventful as we straddled a moving train and a trench that led straight down to a current of sewage. This led us to a small area of town where vendors sold fruit, power strips and skirt wraps, typical combination of goods I know. These little shops had a foundation of garbage and human waste, just like all of the ground in Kibera, and utilized rusty tin and decrepit wood as their walls.

To get to the school we had to climb down hill a little ways...Now imagine this, four mzungus (white girls) trampling down rocky, uneven ground in every attempt possible not to slip and fall into the mounds of wet human waste and mud that lurked below our feet. Let's just say it was quite comical but God heard our prayers and carried us cleanly to our destination. When we got to the "school", which was more like a release from the monotony of staying at home from 5am to 9pm while their parents work, the children were screaming and cheering for us. It was quite the welcome! There were 12 of them that gathered around and sang songs about "happy families" and praising God, (it took everything in me not to cry). In return, we performed songs for them and then fed them lunch. Lindy made amazing rice, beans and chicken and the children were more than grateful. One of the little girls was 10 years old and she took care of her brothers who were 7 and 4. Brian, the 7 year old, looked like he was 2 because of the worms in his body that devoured the little food that he did receive. His brother was about the same size for the same reasons. Lindy guesses that they rarely get food because the last time she came they were stuffing their pockets with the left over food. You could guess that they have never seen a camera either because they all started screaming with joy when Taylor took their picture. Their little faces lit up and produced smiles that were comparable to all of the children in Kenya, captivating. At 12 the children left to go back to their homes and wait until their parents got home. Leaving there was so hard. I wanted to stay and spend the night with the children. I felt guilty coming home to Huruma after being at Kibera. It made me realize how much Mama does for these children at the home and how fortunate they are here. The children at Huruma have food, clothes on their back, clean water, a warm bed. Kibera made Huruma look like paradise, if you can imagine that. I came home feeling completely selfish and to be honest, pissed. I was so frustrated with my lifestyle when these people have nothing. I know they have God and that is so comforting to see, but as for basic, physical necessities they have nothing. I kept thinking about how hard it is going to be to come home to the US after seeing all of that. Shauna was talking about how she has heard about the poverty and how deeply it affected her after hearing it, but now that she has faces and names and stories to associate with the poverty it is almost unbearable to think about. I completely related to that statement. I read on one of Lindy's friend's blogs that said, "with knowledge comes great responsibility" but I don't know what God wants me to do about the injustices I have seen. I wish it was in my power to control everything in Kibera. Control in the sense that I had the ability to provide clean water, food, decent shelter and love for all of these people but I know that isn't possible and that it is going to take more than all that I have to give to free them from the poverty they are slaves to. I read Deuteronomy 15:12 today that says, "There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore, I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land." It reminds me of something that Jeff Royce taught me, God will never ask you for more than you have to give but what He does bless you with, He wants you to use it all for His glory. I think this is what God is going to hold me accountable for, doing my part with what I have. To not let the circumstances of Kibera overwhelm me, but instead to be empowered by the ways that I can contribute no matter how small that contribution may be. Please pray for the people in Kibera and the children at Huruma, that they would trust in the Lord to make straight their path. As you lay down to sleep in the comfort of your home, remember these children and pray that God would shower them with His love at night when they sleep in streets of corruption and disease. My heart is not to give a guilt trip, but rather to open people's eyes to the injustices that are taking place across the world in hopes that they would make a choice to take a stand against it and aid in the efforts to make a difference.

Awkward Turtle.

2008-07-28T02:10:00.001-07:00

For Tori and Kevin:

Your video of the awkward turtle was nothing short of amazing. I literally have tears in my eyes from laughing so thank you for that!!! I miss you guys so much.

In the words of Mandy...I luuuuuuuv youuuu!

New Friends!

2008-07-28T00:36:00.000-07:00

On Saturday Taylor, Shauna and I went into town to do our usual market run and get things we need for the week. Since Shauna and I have a ridiculous addiction to coffee we had to stop at the coffee stand before we went into the store, but wouldn't you know that God used our silly addiction to deliver blessings! Taylor noticed a man sitting alone with a bible on his table and brought our attention to it. Immediately, I told them we had to go talk to him. They were hesitant at first but I felt strongly about approaching him so I walked over and asked if he was a Christian, to which he answered yes. I asked if he was a missionary here and where he was from and it turns out he is here from North Carolina to start a ministry with his wife. We ended up sitting down in the three empty chairs surrounding him and got to know one another for about 30 minutes. After hearing his heart and all about his ministry and what he is doing in Kenya, it was obvious that our meeting was divine. He told us that we had to meet his wife and invited us over for dinner. We gratefully accepted the opportunity to have an American, home cooked meal!

Part of the ministry that him and his wife run is a bed and breakfast for missionary teams that holds a little over 20 people. It is absolutely beautiful! After meeting his amiable wife and the current family staying in the home we sat down for the most delicious meal ever. The family staying there is a husband and wife from Tanzania. They are starting an orphanage down there but came to Kenya to have their sixth child. All five of their children have blonde hair, blue eyes and are just precious! Each was surprisingly polite and my first impression proved valid because the rest of the night only confirmed how obedient and pleasant these kids were to be around. Becky, the mother, was simply amazing. She is a week passed her due date and ready to pop but had been playing kickball with the kids the day before. Can you imagine being over 9 months pregnant and playing kickball? Now that's a dedicated mother! Our dinner conversation was filled with God glorifying context dripping with irony. It seemed as though everything Chris (the missionary we met at the coffee shop) talked about, the three of us had just discussed or read in the bible that past few days. They work with high school kids at their church at home and it was so comforting to see pictures of their kids and here stories that I could completely relate to. It made me miss Merge though!

After dinner the kids went to bed and the seven of us took the opportunity to get to know one another. Since all of them were raised Christian they were extremely interested as to how Taylor, Shauna and I became Christians so we shared a little bit of our testimonies with them. They shared with us everything they were doing with the people in Kibera (the largest slum in Kenya with 1 million people living in 1 square mile). At the end of the night each of them prayed for Taylor, Shauna and I. It was the most amazing experience and I left with tears in my eyes, just astonished at how faithful our God is for bringing these people into our lives. God knows me so well and He knows that I like constant reassurance. Meeting Chris and Lindy felt like God telling me, "Please remember I am still here and I will encourage you and provide for you as you stay here in Kenya". I haven't doubted God's presence but reassurance that this is where He wants me is definitely nice to receive! If you want to know more about Chris and Lindy and what they are doing here, they have a blog (Yes, they are part of the blog cult- yay!!) Onlyservants.blogspot.com. You can also check out what Dave and Becky are doing at www.mavunovillage.org/Helsbys.shtml. I encourage everyone to check out their pages!

All my love to everyone back at home! Bwana Asifiwe!!

I love Helen.

2008-07-25T00:24:00.000-07:00

Everyone, I would like to introduce you to Helen. These pictures by no means do her justice but I had to get them out there. She is a precious angel from God but don't let her fool you, she is sassy! She stopped teacher Jimmy the other day in the hall, put her hands on her hips and said in Kiswahili, "Teacher Jimmy, we are no longer on speaking terms." He answered, "Ok Helen, why are we no longer speaking?" Her reply was, "You passed me in the hall this morning and you did not greet me!" Hahaha I love it! I hope you enjoy her sweet face as much as I do!

The slums (Prepare youself...it's long, as usual)

2008-07-24T02:49:00.000-07:00

1 Corinthians 1:18 “For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God”

I said before that I was going to write about the slums. I have kind of been putting it off because I don't know how to explain it. I have tried to email people to describe what I have seen but I know that my mere words will not do justice to what I have seen. I feel God telling me to at least try to share with you what the slums were like so here goes.

A week ago I set off to Ngong in order to try and track down some of the living relatives of the children at the orphanage in hopes of reuniting them with their families or at least updating information about how the kids got to Huruma in the first place. I had been to the slums on Sunday so I knew the circumstances were bad but bad does not come close to what I saw.

I'm going to flash back really quick; Sunday the Cornerstone team and all of the kids from Huruma went down to the slums to sing, perform a dance and feed the children at the slums. It was so humbling to see the kids of Huruma, who barely have anything themselves, serving those who have even less than they do. God truly convicted me about serving back in the states. He showed me these children who have servants hearts and reminded me that He wants my heart to mirror theirs. I didn't take time out of my days when I was home to spend serving the least of these in my own backyard and I will not make the same mistake when I get back in October. It was so fulfilling handing out bread and milk to these little faces that might not see another "meal", if you can call 3 pieces of bread a meal, for God knows how long. I praise God for that opportunity and all He accomplished through our team that day.

Now, back to my story about Thursday. Being in the streets of the slums was one thing, but walking through their neighborhoods and sitting in their houses was a completely different experience. I went with Grace who is the social worker at Huruma. She took me to another lady who was our tour guide of sorts. She led us through narrow dirt paths enclosed by jagged, splintered, shanty pieces of wood that compile make shift shelters for these people. I can't tell you how many streams of human waste, corn cobs, egg shells, oil and anything else disgusting that you can think of that I stepped over as I weaved in and out attempting to keep up with Grace. When we got to our first home I ducked down about 2 feet to fit through the door. The walls were decrepit wood covered with paper off of canned vegetables. The floor was a mixture of dirt and insects and there were dirty clothes/dishes stacked in piles that consumed the one room structure. Inside there were two, half naked, toddlers covered in food, one of which was crying and the other who had the biggest smile I have ever seen. A young girl who looked no older than 15 was their mother and she was the one we had come to see. This was the sister of one of the children at Huruma and we hoped that she could tell us the whereabouts of the biological mother or father. Unfortunately, she did not know where the mother was because she had left years ago never to return. She told us details about the girl we were asking about and her life in the slums. She said their father would send her out on the streets of the slums to prostitute her in order to make money for the family to eat. She was 8 years old at the time (and only 10 years old now). It took everything in me not to break down right then and there but I knew I had to be strong and God blessed me with His strength. That was our first home. The next 2 stops we made were not any better and the stories remain unmentionable. I left the slums feeling helpless. There was so much corruption, so much poverty, so much pain and suffering that I just felt disgusted. Disgusted at the situations I had just witnessed, disgusted at how selfish I am because I thought that suffering was sitting in the home for more than 10 minutes. The smell alone of the house made me cringe and it took a lot for me to hold down the vomit. It killed me to think that I could barely handle hearing these stories but this was life for so many. 10 minutes is nothing in comparison to actually living in this place. These people have nowhere to turn. They can't just walk away from this wretched life they live, they are trapped there day in and day out. I don’t want to think about nighttime in the slums because just being there during the day gave me the creeps. I am a grown adult feeling this way…I can’t even begin to fathom what it felt like for an 8 year old girl to be forced by her own father to roam those streets for sex. I am so overwhelmed with Africa, but every time I sit down and get tears in my eyes thinking about it I feel peace. It’s a peace that can only come from God. I know He is telling me that He loves everyone single person that is stuck in the slums and that He has His hand on all of them. It is not my place to worry about what is happening in the slums because worrying is a sign that I don’t trust God and that could not be farther from the truth. I trust that God is the only thing that can come in and change Africa. We can’t throw money at the problem because money will not change hearts. These people have been corrupted by their impoverished lifestyles. Half the time if they get their hands on money it goes to alcohol or drugs to numb the pain of reality. No, money is not the only answer to Africa’s plight. Mama Zipporah once said of her volunteers, “How dare you come and feed my children and not share the gospel with them. What good is a full stomach going to do them when they are spending eternity in hell?” Jesus Christ is the only thing that is going to change our world. A full stomach will soon become empty again. Clothes will become outgrown and warn. Buildings will rust with time, but the love of Christ is never changing, never fading, never failing and eternal. I know that my God is bigger than anything going on here in Africa and no matter how overwhelmed I become with the circumstances that I am faced with, it is impossible not to come back to the fact that God is all-powerful. If you get Christ into the hearts of these people and then work with them to build loving communities, then money and resources are absolutely essential but without Christ the resources will be useless for long term change.

I hope that God breaks your heart, as He does mine, when you hear about what is going on here. Africa can’t be saved by Christ if there aren’t people willing to leave the comfort of their homes for the sake of spreading God’s word. I pray that God uses me to show these people love like He has shown me, to encourage and inspire these people. To let them know that they can be the generation to make a difference. A good friend of mine told me today about his plans to start raising money at his school in order to build wells for clean water in Africa and with the extra proceeds he was going to have New Testaments printed in different languages for people across the world. He had counted out how many people went to his school and how much his endeavors would cost, all he needs is the helping hands of friends and teachers. Then, he ended by telling me to let the children here know that they can make a difference and that people on the other side of the world care about them. He wanted the people in Africa to know that people in the US were working to make a change so that this country can become everything that Jesus intended it to be. I felt so inspired by my friend’s motivation. He isn’t letting the fact that he is on the other side of the world stop his efforts to change Africa. He isn’t allowing himself to be consumed by the things of his culture like who is wearing what, who bought what new material thing, who is dating who, what celebrity is pregnant or divorced or on drugs. He isn’t letting himself be comfortable in a culture that is so devoured by themselves that they turn their eyes to the injustices across the world. He understands Jesus call to action and the fact that this life is NOT about things that are fleeting, which the world covets and clings to. Jesus tells his disciples to leave everything and follow him. So we praise His name with our lips but deny dropping our stuff to take up His cross and then we claim we are worthy to call ourselves “Christians”. This is not a blanket statement because so many of friends and high school kids understand this so well and are probably getting fired up reading this (I hope). I just think it begs repeating because I sure as heck don’t want to be someone that grows numb to the calling of Christ and the implications of that calling on my life and I don’t think any one else can afford to belittle them either.

Update!

2008-07-24T01:57:00.000-07:00

I have been working hard to put together an excel spreadsheet for Huruma to use in order to organize their sponsorship information. It has been a tedious task but I think it will be extremely useful when I'm all done. A lot of things are really disorganized in the office, they still use filing folders from around 1965 , but somehow it works nicely for them. I have been trying to reorganize and put a lot of their information onto the computers so it is easier to keep track of but they are so fond of their folder system that I don't even know if they will use the information I have updated in the computer. However, everything I do here I do for the glory of God, which means I am doing everything to the best of my ability no matter how futile it might be. Just a short update to let you know that I actually am doing work here and I’m not spending all my time playing with the kids haha. Most of the day they are in school but I get to spend time with them at night and help them study, (they all have big exams on Friday). Hope all is well at home!

All my love and joy in Christ Jesus,

Keira

2008-07-20T05:07:00.000-07:00

Last night I got to Sightspeed/Skype with all of my favorite people. I can't tell you how amazing it was to hear their voices and see their blurry little faces. I couldn't help but cry after I got off the phone with them. I feel like every time I start to really feel comfortable in Africa is when I feel like I am so distant from home and visa versa. Talking to everyone from home made me miss it so much that I just wanted to jump on a plane. I thank God that He is keeping me in Africa though and I trust that He has work to be done through me if I let Him. My focus has been on trying to accomplish everything that God has planned for me one day at a time.

Once, someone very smart quoted someone extremely smart and I feel compelled to share these words with the blogging world.

I thought of a perfect quote from Francis Chan's book Crazy Love so I wanted to share it with you really quick before I have to leave to go nanny. Francis is talking about people questioning how God could "let" certain things go on in the world if he really loved us. He says, "The answer to why certain things are the way they are is simply this: because He is God. He has more of a right to ask us why so many people are starving." I think that we cannot get into the habit of questioning why God is allowing this to happen or simply questioning why. We have to create action out of what we see. That is the only way that things are ever going to change.

I have seen things in the past two weeks that make me sick. I couldn't describe them in words if I wanted to because it would not do justice to the feeling of actually being here and experiencing them. However, God has blessed me so much during my time at Huruma and I continue to lean on Him for my strength.

We went to the market in Ngong yesterday and I swear every time I walk the streets of Ngong I feel like I've stepped into a National Geographic magazine. Riding the matatus was interesting...the first one we rode was completely uneventful but the second one we rode had blaring loud Kenyan rap music (which I have actually grown to really like) and a very interesting music video playing. I was sitting between Taylor and Jimmy (a teacher at Huruma)...talk about awkward. Then on the third one we took on the way home there was a drunk, toothless man sitting in the back by Taylor and I. At first I just thought he was being friendly but it turns out he was being way TOO friendly which turned into harassment. I won't repeat what he was saying because it was extremely inappropriate but they stopped the matatu so that we could move seats. I moved up by Shauna, Taylor moved up a seat and Jimmy moved back to protect her. Let's just say it was an interesting journal entry!

The teachers at Huruma don't have much. Mama helps pay for their schooling along with sponsors and for the most part they have very little money. They each live in their own house, which is really one dorm-like bedroom where they don't have running water or electricity. I haven't been to them personally but I have heard from some people who have been. Teacher James, or Jimmy, was the one who accompanied us to the market and he was so joyful the whole time. We ended up buying him a few things and you would not believe how happy he was just for something as simple as deodorant. I felt so much safer with him with us and I think Taylor and Shauna felt the same so we were grateful to have him there.

Today has been kind of a lazy day. We had chapel for 2 and a half hours this morning and since then we have just been hanging out and playing with the kids. I think this post has been long enough, they usually are, so I'm going to go back out with everyone! Love and hugs to everyone back home!

Bwana Asifiwe

2008-07-17T23:20:00.000-07:00

So much has happened in the past four days and I don't have time to give a full update on all of it but I thought I would blog to let everyone know that there is more to come soon! I am really starting to learn Swahili and I actually have class in 15 minutes. It's a relatively easy language but some of it really confuses me. I'm getting to know some of the older teachers and the ladies in the office, which is helpful. The teachers are so funny and I appreciate their sarcastic senses of humor because I can completely relate to it. The rest of the group from Cornerstone is leaving tonight and it's bitter sweet. I'm so sad to see everyone go but at the same time it will be nice to move into a bigger place. Shauna, Taylor and I are taking tomorrow to move into the guest house and go into the market and just get re-settled in. I can't wait for that!

I'm not going into details about what has been going on here in the past few days but I do want to praise God or Bwana asifiwe. These kids have been through unfathomable stories that just make my stomach cringe. Even though they have been through hell and back they still get up every morning with the most amazing, genuine smiles I have ever seen and sing praise to God who loves them. I know I have mentioned this in one of my other posts but it should be so hard for these kids to love and to rejoice like they do but it is solely because they have Jesus in their hearts that they can stand in joy and praise God. I am so grateful for everything the Lord is teaching me through them. I will write again when I get the chance but for now I just send my love to all of you back home! I can't tell you how much I miss my Thursday night Camber and my Wednesday night Merge groups. I love and miss you all so much!

2008-07-13T12:38:00.000-07:00

GOD IS SO FAITHFUL. I told Shauna in the airport, maybe God is just telling me "wait" instead of "no" about my suitcase and today He confirmed that wait because He changed it to a "YES!" Literally, tears of joy streamed down my face as I fell to my knees kissing my suitcase. Apparently this was amusing to everyone because Jayna took pictures (they will be coming soon). Honestly, it is an amazing feeling to have my stuff finally but that is not what provoked my overwhelming joy. It was the fact that my bag held the most precious cargo ever. The bible verses that "the gang" made me. For those who do not know, some of my Merge kids decorated little envelopes with a bible verse for every day that I am gone. I have a little bag filled with them! Todays verse said, "Give thanks to the Lord, for His love endures forever", how appropriate?! Today I had a mini mental break down and let some tears out with Shauna. After reading an email from my mom I couldn't help it. I miss her so much. It's strange to think about staying because everyone here is leaving in less than a week and they are all so excited about what they get to eat when they get home and who they get to see. For Shauna, Taylor and I however, it's different. We can't miss any of that stuff just yet or we will go crazy. Of course, it's impossible not to miss it but we can't let it get to us. Shauna and I landed on the fact that God wants us here and it would be harder to leave and know we were being disobedient to God than to stay and miss home. Then, after all of my emotions, someone called me out into the hall dragging my bag behind them. It was as if God said, "I wasn't kidding when I told you I wanted you to stay and I wasn't kidding when I told you I was here". I feel so dumb for needing the reminder but let me tell you, I was on my knees in a heartbeat praising Him!

I feel so sick right now, I can't even swallow because my throat hurts so bad and I'm exhausted but we have to run a three day camp for the kids tomorrow so that is keeping me motivated! They are so excited for it! Taylor and I are teaching dance, we made up our dance tonight and it was a lot of fun. However, I am off to read the book of James (Go read it. Do it.) and get some sleep for tomorrow! I will blog again soon to tell about the slums...most amazing experience ever I can't wait to share. I love and miss you all so much!

More Pics.

2008-07-12T11:14:00.000-07:00

I know it's not the best picture but this is Yvonne! For you Mom :)

Yes...these are lions mating. I laugh every time I see this picture hahaha

This one is for Nick, Stephen, Trevor, Kyle, Shannon, Vanessa, and Lydia. The Maasaii tribe says "Peace" to all of you haha :)

Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

2008-07-12T10:47:00.000-07:00

Brace yourself. This is a long one.

This saying has never been more real to me. Especially in reference to my family and friends, comfortable bed with no hyenas howling and insects snuggling you, *Pazookies*, Walgreens, the smell of clean laundry (or the smell of anything clean for that matter). Despite all of the things I miss back home, today is the first day I have truly felt comfortable in Africa. I felt overjoyed to be coming home to Huruma from the safari. I couldn’t wait to see the kids and be in my “dorm”. I feel like so much fear bottled up inside of me just got released and I feel a sense of peace in Kenya now. It’s funny because I couldn’t tell you what I was afraid of when I got here. Afraid was the last thing I expected to be, especially because it was not something I felt at all before I left. I’m not afraid of the people because they are some of the friendliest people I have ever met. I’m not afraid of the animals or the insects, although maybe I should be because the insects are eating me alive and the animals are deadly. I think it might be simply the unknown. After listening to Charlie Hall sing today about Jesus coming to take us away things seem so much in perspective. It reminded me why I came to Africa in the first place and why I wasn’t afraid to leave home. It was because I have God’s promise of the Holy Spirit who is living inside of me. I have His promise that I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. I also have his demand to help those in need. His blunt statement that the poor are rich in faith (Huruma is living proof of that). His calling to go out and be the hands and feet, to take care of the orphans and the widows. All of these things brought me comfort today and for the first time, I felt ready to stay here for three months. God reminded me that I need to live for the moment. I thought when I got to Africa the worries of home would fall away because they would seem so insignificant in comparison to the worries of Africa. Instead the worries of Africa overwhelmed me, they terrified me, they discouraged me. Africa made me feel so small, as if I let my guard down for one second it would swallow me whole. Now, I feel like God has arranged a peace treaty between Africa and me. Not that I feel numb to everything going on here, at first I thought I was because I was so emotionless, but I have just realized that I can only concern myself with today. It’s when I start thinking about long term that Africa gets the best of me. When I focus on today and loving these people and embracing these experiences, is when I share the best of me with Africa. And since I can do nothing on m own, it is actually Christ living through me, I am showing Africa the best of God. I’m convinced God is the only thing big enough to free this country. To lift it up, dust it off and give it new life. I feel it necessary to define “new life”. I mean new life in Christ. I have never been to a place where poverty is like a part of culture but that is how I felt with the Maasaii. It was our last day on the safari and we went to see the Maasaii tribe. Let’s just say it was unlike anything I have ever seen before. They live in cow dun huts and walk on cow dun floors and their huts (and their faces) are covered in bugs. They are known as the warrior tribe but they were the sweetest people. After we left their tribe I asked the group how they thought the Maasaii would respond to technology and if they had the chance to have nice houses built if they would take advantage of it. Everyone pretty much agreed that they wouldn’t because the huts and the bugs were simply their culture. It was how they knew life, plain and simple. I think sometimes people tend think that American culture is the best culture and we need to spread it to other countries but this trip is showing me that’s not the case at all. Yes, we are a lot more sanitary and there are definitely things that we could teach these people about cultivating their culture, but for the most part their way of life is simply that: their way of life. It doesn’t make it wrong or right, it’s just different. The only thing in this place that is definitely wrong and I will be praying constantly for, is the absence of Jesus Christ.

Well, this is like the longest post ever and I didn’t even talk about the safari but I figured I would just let the safari speak for itself. Here are some of my AMAZING pictures:

This one is for my Dad! :)

5 minutes into the safari we got to see a lion eating a Zebra...coolest thing ever!

My bags went to Mumbasa without me!

2008-07-07T23:28:00.000-07:00

Jambo!
The kids have been trying to teach me Swahili since I got here and all I can say is Jambo...I know, I'm pathetic!

Well, the weather is absolutely beautiful here. I would say 80s with a cold breeze, it can't get better than that! Turns out the bite on my ankle is not a mosquito bite, it's a spider bite and now my entire ankel is swollen. I took two benadryl last night and that seemed to help the swelling a little bit and I can still move my toes so these are all good things!

Yesterday was such an intense day and I know it was a preview for many rough days to come. The morning was slow but we painted their library in the afternoon and then got the chance to play volleyball with some of the kids and their teachers. Let's just say that Kenyans are a little intense with their volleyball but regardless it was so much fun! After I played volleyball I went down by chapel and found Hannah teaching the kids how to do the Souja(sp) Boy dance, it was hilarious. Then one of the little girls who I had met grabbed my hand and took me up on a hill away from every one. Her name is Yvonne and she seemed relatively quiet but not now. She told me her story about how she got to Huruma and it took everything in me not to cry. I just kept telling myself that she has found God here at Huruma and nothing else could be greater than that. Plus, she has a family here who loves her. She told me that everyone has an enemy because "they had to, there are always some people who are going to hate you". But then she went on to say that she loved this girl who was mean to her and prayed for her. That astonished me. This 11 year old orphan is telling me how she loves her enemies. I know grown American Christians who do not understand this concept but here is this precious little child who lives it out daily. This girl who has every reason to turn from God and be bitter with the world for what she has been through understands how to love like Christ. I only pray that she would rub off on me a little bit. She also told me, "when my mother gave birth to me she was HIV+ so I am HIV+. I sleep in the same bed as my best friend and eat and drink with her and she cannot even get it". I confirmed that and told her that there were only a few ways that HIV could be transmitted. She told me that she had to take 4 or 5 medicines every morning and I asked if they tasted yucky. "Yes, but they are necessary" was how she respond. I was blown away by her maturity level. I told her that she was strong and beautiful and she blushed. I think Yvonne and I will become very close friends and I look forward to that.

Today we went to Nairobi to go to the airport to look for my bag. We found Shauna's within 5 minutes but after about an hour of looking, we gave up on finding mine. Momma Zipporah (the lady who runs the orphanage) was waiting outside the doors for me so when we walked back with the man who couldn't find my bag she started yelling at him to pay me for my trouble. He said alright and walked me back to the baggage counter where I signed a piece of paper and he gave me $80 out of his own wallet. Strangest thing I have ever seen but I was not complaining! The day was long after that because we had to drive to the hospital to visit Zapporah. This 11 year old girl has been sick the past few days. At first they thought it was meningitis, which would be horrible, but luckily that is not the case. The hospital was unlike anything I have seen but it didn't really surprise me. It is actually very beautiful, a brick building covered in vines and filled with gardens. There were more people there than I could have imagined. Some just sitting in the grass, some walking the halls, all with sullen faces. I can't think of anything to describe how the rooms in the hospital smelled besides sterile death. I'm not sure if you can imagine what that smells like but let's just say it was not a pleasant smell. When we found Zapproah she looked so thin and momma asked me to pray over her. After I did we left to head back into town. On the way home the car broke down in the middle of the road (which is an extremely narrow dirt path) and the people behind us were less than excited about that. We only sat there no more than a minute when someone pulled over to help us. Turns out he is a skilled runner and has been to the United States numerous times to compete. Him and his friend were so kind and called over three more of their friends and before you knew it we were on the road again. Papa Isaac (momma's husband) and Papa Sweet (Dave) came to our rescue also so we got home safe and sound. Also, on the way home we got a call from the airport and they said they found my bag but it is in Mumbasa which just so happens to be 8 hours away and right next to the beach. I'm a little irritated my bag got to see the beach without me! Momma's response was, "And now you have 80 dollar!" haha I love it! :) I was about to get extremely frustrated about my bag being lost but throughout the 3 hours we spent at the airport I just prayed that God would bring me peace about it. I know that my other suitcase would bring me comfort here but when I started thinking about what was in it I laughed. The funny thing is that we started moving things around in my bags right before I left so that they would fit the weight requirement. One of the things that got moved into my bag was the photo book that my mom made me and I knew right then that God did that for a reason so I unclinched a little bit and told God that it was in His hands. I am confident that He will provide and take care of me.

I feel like I have so much more to tell but it is time for evening prayers! I miss everyone back home so much and think about you daily. I love you all so much and couldn't be here without your prayers so thank you for that!

I made it!

2008-07-05T18:09:00.000-07:00

Well, after 2 days of flying I finally made it to Huruma! Our plane to London looked like the plane from friends when Ross and Emily got married and they all flew to London. I tried to take a picture to capture it but it didn't work as well as I had hoped. Ngong is more beautiful than the pictures gave it credit for and the people are so friendly. After all the pills and patches, I have already been bitten by 2 mosquitos (fun) and I also lost one of my bags but if those are the worst things that could have happened to me, I'd say I'm in great shape. Our dorm rooms are nicer than I thought and brand new!

Yesterday we went into town and had lunch and then went to the market. It reminded me a lot of Mexico with everyone hounding you to buy something. Shauna and I met these two guys who taught us how to play the drums and we talked about Christ with them. They were the only ones in the whole place not begging us to buy something, instead they just had a jam session with us. One of them had Bob Marley on his phone so we sang along and played drums to it. They said they were there every Saturday so Shauna and I promised to come back so they could teach us drums and we could read the bible to them.

It's 4am Kenya time. I couldn't sleep and as I was praying I saw Shauna's light go on so we rushed into the computer rooms. Tomorrow is church and another big day but for some reason I just can't sleep. I miss home already. I miss my family, Shannon, my high school kids. JJ Heller is absolutely amazing after listening to a few of her songs last night, (little things and have mercy among others) during my devotion I felt so much more at peace. I just feel so out of my element here and I know God is making me feel uncomfortable to break me down so that He can build me back up. I'm excited for that but it's not easy. If it weren't for the absolutely amazing e-mails that I received from two brilliant young ladies, (which brought me to tears- and Sam, I read Matthew 9, thank you so much!) and the prayers that I know people are saying for me back at home, I know I would be in worse shape. But my strength does not come from myself, it comes from Christ who is the rock foundation that I stand on and I praise God for that.

Well, I'm off to get some more sleep (hopefully). I will blog again as soon as I can! I hope all is well back in the good ol US!

Overwhelmed.

2008-07-01T00:37:00.000-07:00

Overwhelmed is the best word I can think of to describe how I feel.

Overwhelmed by the checklist of things I need to do in order to be "ready" to leave Thursday.

Summer school

Friends

Family

Knowing how many people are praying for me and truly care about me

Knowing that this amazing and beautiful God is with me all the way, nothing can separate me from the love of God (Romans 8:39)

The unknown- There is so much that is unknown for me right now, God is really teaching me how to trust Him and I love how much closer it is growing me to Him.

This feeling of being overwhelmed is absolutely a good thing, but I am turning it into stress! I am continuing to pray for peace and God is continually telling me He wants me to stay uncomfortable. I know He is teaching me something (isn't He always), maybe it's patience as usual...I could always use more of that :)

So, Francis Chan was AMAZING. I was surprised at how moving a message could be when there is very little actual "message" involved. The majority of the service consisted of prayer and a worship song, but it was extremely moving. The talk was on honesty and Francis said he knew a really good 30 minute message wasn't going to make all of us walk out confessing and never lying ever again therefore, he decided to leave it up to God. Francis knew that God could do a work bigger than any talk that he could give and he was right. We got to meet him after the message and he prayed for my trip, it was amazing!

It was good spending the day in Huntington and being able to see my grandma and cousin. Tori and I felt like COMPLETE outcasts at Huntington beach. We sat on the patio of BJ's surrounded by drunk people who were half naked in skimpy little swim suits. The table behind us only talked about the party they were at the night before and I have never heard so much profanity in one mouthful. We were excited when our food came so that we could pray. I don't think we said more than two sentences the whole meal because we were either too in shock or too busy people watching. Those two sentences went something like this,

Keira: "Let's read the bible when we get home tonight!"

Tori: responding with the joy of the Lord, "Yes!! I can't wait!!"

Tori's shirt read "Honesty, Purity, Integrity" and it inspired us to someday set up a table on the corner of Huntington with a large sign that reads "H.P.I." in which we would get people to question what it stands for and then share the gospel.

My grandma is hilarious and old and senile and the heat was on when we got there and I thought I was going to pass out but I love her. We played cards, cooked dinner and explained to her that we weren't staying for a week (I don't know why she thought that in the first place but it didn't sink in until we left the next morning...I thought she was going to cry).

On the drive home, (it felt like I drove for two days straight, non stop) Tori and I danced and screamed worship songs completely out of tune. We posted a sign on my side window that said "Honk if you love Jesus, cause we do!" and I believe we got a total of 4 honks.

Long story short: California was amazing, I love my family and I am going to miss Tori more than words can express.

I think that is a long enough blog for one night ;) I will try and post one more before I leave!

"The back of our heads is probably going to be on the podcast!!"

2008-06-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

"What does my shirt smell like?"

"Smells like Taun Taun"

This has been such an amazing weekend/ beginning of a week. From Tamara's strange choice in videos to show Shannon to hydroplaning, heroine Chinese torture with Beans and Tori. I moved back home today and it is the weirdest feeling ever. Three years has gone by fast and yet so much has happened in that time span. Part of me feels like a senior in high school all over again, which might be partially due to the fact that my room looks exactly the same as it did then. I just removed all of the flowers Andy bought me from my wall, cleared out my cheer skirts and dance jackets, took down my senior panoramic and the list goes on. Hello next chapter of my life :)

I know God's timing is perfect and He has REALLY been teaching me that the past few weeks. Strange things have been happening at such opportune times that they could only be accredited to divine intervention. I know God has me going to Africa for a reason because if I wasn't, I wouldn't have moved home and I would probably still be in school for a lot longer. What God is going to do by having me at home and my future left completely up to Him, I have yet to find out but I welcome it with open arms.

I'm running on 3 hours of sleep and moved for over 12 hours today. Yup, I'm running solely on God's energy. Time to recharge. (Bible and Bed)

Blogs to come: Cali briefing...get prepared!

Prayer: Amanda Pacion going to witness/teach English in the Czech. Peace of mind for my mom. Ron Merrell and family moving. Andrea and Jon Hoefer and all of the amazing things God is doing in their lives right now, congrats to them!

Poems

2008-06-20T14:21:00.000-07:00

Hello blog world! I apologize for not putting up pictures from Hume yet but they are coming soon and so is a post to tell a little bit about how amazing it was. Until then I want to get this posted...

"As I look into the mirror man, looking back at me all I see is a mere man.
The world's perspective
A view that's often skewed to leave out Christ the resurrected
But by my good looks, my personality, my confidence I'm accepted?
Which by my rationality means that those that lack these things are rejected
Two perspectives
On the left hand, the weak hand, the world’s hand says this
The sun doesn't shine off of me and heighten my prestige
I shine off of the stars and illuminate the galaxies
Conceit and vain find their residence in my veins
As I forklift spiritual gifts from a blood stained crucifix
Only to use it for my own satisfaction
Selfish action tightens my hand down into a fist
Culture calls for this
But on the right hand, the strong hand, God's hand
Holds tears and sweat because I've never agreed with this hopelessness

So now as I look into the mirror man, looking back at me I see nothing
more than a mere man"

Let it shine, Let it shine, Let it shine

So much power wrapped in three little words and yet, we sing them like a nursery rhyme

As if all this time Lucifer’s power was just a myth

Power that’s Identical to the effort put forth to blow out birthday candles with

So little, so weak, so irrelevant

In our circles today, the great lengths of his destructive ways are as unclear as a mumble

We deny his impact and sit back while families crumble

Sons and Daughters sink deeper into depression Harboring bitterness from unanswered questions

While all the while we with truth engage in debate over spiritual don’ts and do’s

Paralleling the sweet love of Jesus to an insignificant fruit

Don’t get me wrong, I love bananas, I know that mangos are sweet

But the image of nails through hands and feet just doesn’t seem to compete

A mother, overwhelmed with defeat, uncontrollably weeps

At the foot of the cross as blood seeps from her son’s feet

What do you tell her when she asks “what’s to come”

In that moment it seems absurd to offer a cliché prayer or a melodious love song

Then why today is our faith a reflection

Of a catchy tune you would hear in June when VBS is in session

There’s a fountain flowing deep and wide but it’s so much deeper and wider than we can fathom

On Sundays we close eyes, hands raise give him praise, but on Monday…

We refuse that we have him

A time has come to replace faction with a greater understanding that the call of Christ…

Is a call to Action

To be the movers and shakers of this Generation Who are generally based in myspace Education

Who have taken Jesus’s words of “Follow me” and “Go”

And replaced them with a tolerable agree….. and NO

To understand that it’s not logical

In fact, it’s impossible

To give an account for the hope that is in us with an “eat” “drink” and “be marry” Gospel

It’s time to stop splashing in the shallow end of the fountain

And plant a real seed that will grow real faith to move mountains

Understanding that with Christ you can whisper truth in a noisy room and he’ll still changes lives

A whisper that is much less than the breath you use to sing

Let it shine, Let it Shine, Let it shine

Thanks to Kevin for these :)

HUME LAKE HOMIES

2008-06-07T09:54:00.001-07:00

That's right. We leave for Hume in 10 hours and I could not be more thrilled! I can't wait to be away for a week and take quality quiet time in the presence of God, watch high school students be shaken up by how God moves, watch my best friend help shepherd some sheep, grow closer to old friends and build bonds with new friends, watch God pull the sun up over the ridiculously beautiful mountains and lake to start each day with peace and tranquility but then sustain that sun in the heavens while we get dirty for rec and finally exchanging it with the glowing moon to preside over us as we sleep at night. Uhm yup, I'm definitely ready for camp!

"I just want to brag about the fact that I got raptured"

2008-06-05T23:02:00.000-07:00

Wow.

Ron's message tonight was amazing. It was the kind of message that makes you want to leave the church doors and go out to really live for Christ, even if that means dying for him because it was the kind of message that makes you not afraid to die. As a Christian, I know where I am going when I die...how amazing is that? I get to meet the creator of the universe when I leave this life. It makes me want to devote every second of my time here to absolutely great, God glorifying things so that when I do meet this majestic God of mine He will be able to look at me and be proud. He will call me his good and faithful servant and this love that I am striving to comprehend will become transparent and tangible for me. I can't wait for that day, my prayers tonight will be consumed with requests for the rapture to happen asap. Until it does however, I am anxious for Hume and really feeling my heart prepare for Africa. If I haven't said it enough, I can't wait to go and be the hands and feet. I'm so blessed to have the opportunity to go serve others in need and I praise God for it.

I am going to miss Ron SOOOO much. I love his messages. Not only do they add gasoline to my flames, they make me want to spread those flames like wild fire. There are a few people I have in mind when I think about "spreading the flame" and they are in my prayers constantly but above and beyond that I start thinking about missions. 1040 window missions. People who have never heard the name of Christ missions. For now they are still just thoughts but God is recurrently putting them in my head and my heart.

Well, time for bed because tomorrow is t-shirt making, gym, hw, melting pot and Jacquee and Amanda time! Yay :)

Insightful.

2008-06-05T00:33:00.000-07:00

Some things I learned today that I feel are necessary to share with the blogging world:

1. Apparently blogging is for regular everyday updates on peoples lives (I am still not 100% convinced people care about my day to day whereabouts).

2. According to Jon Hubs, if I rub Orajel or anything similar on my eye twitch it will go away. He says he tried it on his arm and the next day the twitch was gone, however I don't believe him...any second opinions? What in the world do you do for a chronic eye twitch?! And Jon, are you not going to Hume? Don't let its pilgrim history scare you off, I'm told it's quite worth it.

3. Yay for Katie getting a blog! And yay for Wednesdays at the Cafe :)

4. Steve left his Guitar Hero with me to babysit while he is at camp and I am infatuated...The only problem is my stupid pinky finger can't reach the orange! Dang the orange button and dang Through the Fire and Flames!

5. Note to self, stop using potato chip soap. -thanks Trav

6. Note to Travis, stop not showering- your smell can't get much worse. Sometimes I still think that you are in Arizona because I can smell your stench from TJ....and partly because of Chris' creepy, yet slightly amazing, life size cardboard poster of you.

7. Lunch with Lauren on Friday. Could not be more excited! :)

Lastly,

everyone pray for Shannon. She is in a state of mental breakdown because of nursing school and she could sure use the prayer even though she is going to do amazing.

2008-06-01T17:28:00.001-07:00

It was brought to my attention today that the only thing I know how to do on this blog is postings and picture additions...lame! If anyone has any tips as to how I make this thing interesting (Aka, put music on it, add links to other sites in the margins, etc.) please inform me! Apparently I am one step above blog illiteracy and that just won't fly!

P.S. I am ECSTATIC about the amazing family that God has blessed Merge with and I can't wait for HUME!!!!!

In Sync.

2008-05-14T13:59:00.000-07:00

Everyone’s world views are a product of their acquired knowledge and life experiences. This is something I have been thinking a lot about lately. No two people see the same thing the same way because they are influenced by a multitude of different perceptions. When I see a homeless man, I see Jesus. I see someone who needs a helping hand, who might not have had the opportunities that I had growing but or who is living out the consequences for some poor choices early on in life. I see a soul that is at wits ends and needs a savior. A friend of mine however, sees a product of their own demise. He sees someone who scams the system, someone who is dirty, a beggar, too lazy to get up and work for himself. He thinks they deserve nothing because they don't put in the effort to get anything. I'm not saying that either viewpoint is right, but I am bringing to light the fact that two people can look at one situation and draw completely different conclusions. This happens all the time when two people look at the exact same bible verse and draw completely different conclusions from it. Both conclusions could be completely sound including further scriptural support, but which is right?

How I view Christianity is completely different than how my friends Josh and Aaron view it. Josh believes in Christianity but he has a world’s view of the church. This causes him to have trouble looking deeper into Christianity, past the stereotypes that come along with it (that are sometimes very accurate about the people in the church today). Aaron, a history major and extremely educated friend of mine from work, refuses to believe that there is only one right religion because there is too much evidence to support numerous different religions, especially ones that contradict each other when evidence seems to prove both true. I know their outlooks are deeper than this summary and I don't want to discredit that but these are the aspects of their belief that has stuck out to me. These kids have got me thinking and scrutinizing and investigating what’s real. Hebrews 11:6 encourages us to “diligently seek” God (KJV). The Beth Moore bible study that I’m going through right now uses Strong’s Greek translation of the word “seek” as a verb that means “to search for, investigate, seek out, beg, crave, demand back, require, scrutinize”. I thank God for these people in my life, regardless of the questioning of my faith that happens in response to having long conversations with them. In fact, not “regardless”, but “because of” would be better wording. These kids help me to dig out answers for my faith and better comprehend how to share what I believe and why I believe it. God doesn’t want us to walk blindly when we follow him, but he also wants us to have faith without evidence. What a tricky concept. Be able to carefully explain what you believe without having all of the evidence for it. I guess that’s the beauty of faith. To answer my previously proposed question, how do we know which interpretation is right? I’d have to say that man’s interpretation is nothing in comparison to God’s intentions. I think exegesis is essential to our faith but I also think that God has the final say in everything he wrote anyway and we can't forget that. People get very strong headed in what they believe because they think that their ability to decipher God's word is from the Holy Spirit and therefore set in stone. I only have a complaint about the latter. There are traditional doctrines that God is very clear about, but there are also some that still infuse questions. If we don't ask those questions honestly and clearly and truly listen to what God has to say about them, how will we know Him better? He doesn't want us to listen to a pastor or an author or an elder or any human being on their own, He wants us to test what these people have to say with His word (1 John 4:1-3).

At the end of the day, I only care about being in sync with how my God views life. I know that my God is there to listen to my prayers and lay with me as I fall asleep. His comfort and warmth thaws the busy chaos from the day as it melts off of me and sinks into my pillow. I thank him for his word that directs me, enlightens me, inspires me, draws me closer to him. For people like Lee Strobel and all of the scholars he interviews in “The Case for Christ” for devoting their lives to apologetics so that everyone else can benefit from their findings. I thank him for the amazing people in my life and the small day to day blessings that I never want to take for granted. Because I know that at the end of the day, no matter what other people might think based on their own world views and preconceived notions about Christianity, those view points don’t change who God is. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8), AMEN.

Non-practicing Christians?

2008-05-14T00:49:00.000-07:00

You know how people say they are Jewish but "not practicing”…like you don’t partake in the religious ceremonies (besides one here and there like Yom Kippur or Hanukah) but you still claim to follow that religion. To further illustrate my point, I found this on an "ask moses" website...

Rachel: My mum is jewish, but not practicing. I am told this means I am jewish. Is that correct?

Mrs. Shaffer: if her mother is Jewish, then she is Jewish, and you are Jewish :)

Mrs. Shaffer: practicing or not...Jewishness is yours :)

Rachel: Even if they know less about judaism than the next guy on the street?

Mrs. Shaffer: yup

...All I can say to that is, wow. I know we are talking about Judaism and it's a whole new ball game because of the whole lineage thing but that just seems odd to me as a Christian. But it presents the question, can you be a non-practicing Christian? I feel like I see more and more Christians today who are on the fence or completely NOT practicing but would still whole heartedly consider themselves “Christians”. If you are half following the world and half following Christ, how can you be considered a Christian? Can you be partly of Christ, and part of this world? And, is it possible to be a non-practicing follower of Christ? I would argue that this is impossible...that you absolutely can ~~not~~ be a Christian without actually following Christ. You are either wholly a Christian or you're not. Jesus makes this very clear throughout scriptures. (Galations 1:10, Romans 12:2 and Revelations 3:14-17 are merely a few examples of this) The very heart of Christianity is deeply rooted in acting as a response to faith. Faith without deeds is dead (James 2:26). Without stepping up, taking action and living out your faith, what else is there to Christianity? Without the practicing part of “Christianity”, you can’t be a Christian.

So, I found this on Yahoo Answers:

What exactly is a non-practicing christian?

SDB Deacon: I've noticed that some on here say that they are christians, but that they aren't practicing christians. What exactly are these people?

Rebelarm: These people have the good strong christian values but don't go to church on a weekly basis. I am a non practicing christian only because I can't find as good a church that I belonged to before I joined the army.

Since when did acting or practicing your faith get belittled to the sole act of going to church on Sunday? Good moral values, church on Sunday...Yup, put a check mark next to Christian on my list of personality traits! I'm sorry but that's just crap. That completely demeans Christ and everything Christianity stands for. Yes, the church is essential to our faith. The church is the body of Christ but if that church (I'm talking about the people in the church here) does nothing more than hear a message on Sunday, if that church doesn't take their faith outside the church doors, if that church doesn't reach out to those in need, if that church doesn't consider God in their daily lives outside the four walls of the church then Christianity is stupid. I know these are just some random sample opinions from people online but I don't think they are too far fetched from what a great deal of people believe about Christianity today.

This is far from being a new revelation for most Christians, it's been preached countless times before but I would argue that it begs repeating because obviously it hasn't hit home with a lot of people. It took me four years for any of this to click with me. To realize that being a Christian meant I actually had to BE a Christian and that required action beyond getting baptized and taking communion on Sundays (even when I had been drinking on Saturdays). I really don’t understand what took me so long or why I didn’t start acting on my faith sooner and it makes me want to kick myself but I do know that since the lights went on for me, they are never going off.

Caution! Extreme understatement: Following Christ will be hard. I know will feel disconnected at times from those who have had different revelations from God (or none at all) and in my experience, those people are usually the ones closest to me. I will feel confused, asking God why he is asking me to do crazy, outrageous things; things that this world deems as “stupid, foolish, naïve”; things that I don’t understand. He will ask me to trust him through those crazy requests, even when I feel like they are so far off base from where my life should be going (cause I know better than God does, right?). Despite all of these reasons and a million others as to why it will be hard following God at times instead of giving in to temptation, the “easy way out” and conforming to the patterns of this world, I will continue to seek the Lord. I know that if I seek him, he will draw near to me (James 4:8). I know that if I believe in him, he will reward me (Hebrews 6:11). And I know that because of the trials I face on this Earth, this life will all be made worth it by my Father when I get to heaven (Luke 6:20-26).

Good ol Socrates

2008-04-11T15:13:00.000-07:00

I once had a friend quote Socrates to me, "One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing".

This quote has never seemed more relevant to my life. I have always been a mediocre student growing up. I could probably be extremely intelligent if I wasn't so lazy and actually had a little more drive about what I was learning. English is the only thing that has stuck with me that I truly feel passionate about (academic wise), but even in that I only do the necessary to succeed with a B average. Lately however, I have found myself dying to learn about anything and everything, especially religion. I think it is so fascinating to explore what other people believe about this life and the next. It is my, among countless others, sole purpose on this Earth to devote my life here to the creator and I think that is why I have become so intrigued lately with different viewpoints surrounding the subject. The hard part about being propelled by a new found knowledge of different belief systems is the fact that there is so much to know. I feel like every time I get an answer it opens the door to a whole new set of questions. Although humbling, this is extremely frustrating and only further confirms my assumption that I will be in school FOREVER. It also begs the question: how lame would life be if we ever got to the point where there was nothing else to know? It's really pushing me to make a conscious effort to soak in everything I can from the people around me. Especially because of all the amazing resources that I encounter throughout my day (Jeff and Shimmy to name a few), I would be ridiculously foolish not to take advantage of the knowledge they have to offer and we know how God feels about foolish people...it's not pretty.

Manifestation of my far below "expert" level writing skills.

2008-04-07T20:41:00.000-07:00

While debating whether or not to pull an all nighter and write as much as I possibly could in order to relieve some of my finals stress or play around on my blog site...I guess it is obvious which option I chose. This blog was originally created to enable me to share the experiences God will be taking me through while I'm in Kenya but I figure, why wait until I am in Africa to share what God is teaching me? So, here you go!

I swear Wells Fargo is going to fire me if I keep bringing up Christ at work. It's so incredibly hard though, that's all I think about for 9 hours while I'm there, it's bound to come out! I know God has me there for a reason (especially since I have left and returned three times...I even tried to leave a fourth time but took back my two week notice because I felt God keeping me there for some reason). I just hope I am living out the purpose He has for me throughout my time there. I am so in love with everyone I work with, it's ridiculous.

I once had it explained to me that sometimes reoccurring dreams are your subconscious working out things that you aren't dealing with on a conscious level...Well if that is the case then I don't know what the heck is going on because I have had some pretty crazy dreams. Last night I dreamed that I was at bible college only it totally wasn't bible college because it was filled with sorority girls. Plus, I was not allowed to leave this college, I could only talk on the phone with everyone from home. I have never felt that trapped in my entire life. Later in the dream Allan Firman was there and I have never been happier to see that bald head in my life! (Haha SO random, but I guess everyone on the hike was right- "The Firman" is omnipresent). Long story short, by the end of the dream I was talking to Shannon on the phone and I woke up in the middle of a hard core panic attack. I felt that same panicked and trapped feeling as someone would feel if they were being buried alive.

Analysis: I'm not afraid to be in a third world country, surrounded by political distress (which has calmed down, peace treaties are being signed), sleeping on a homemade bunk bed, eating rice and beans, with the threat of disease as present as Starbucks' for America. I am overwhelmed with the thought of loving, ministering and teaching the children at Huruma on a daily basis, even if some of their life stories will make me sick and tears seem impossible to keep from spilling out. I am more than thrilled to know that I will be obedient to God's calling for me (being disobedient is not an option, I wasted too many years of my life doing that). The only thing that I am having trouble coming to peace with is the fact that I will be leaving the people I love. I am going to Africa with the intentions of really testing, probing, questioning if full time missions is something God is calling me to do and it scares me to death to think that I might find His answer to be yes. On the one hand, I would give anything to be a servant for Christ through missions. Ministering to the least of these, relying solely on God, knowing that He really is "all I need" like we sing with Brian on Sundays. On the other hand, I can't help but cry thinking about how blessed I am through the people in my life right now. God has given me high school kids who I would die for. They are the most innovated, driven, selfless, inspiring, on-fire teenagers to walk this Earth (it's true). They ask tough questions and they do the footwork to find the answers God has provided them (even when those answers are opaque and seem impossible to answer). There are a few of them that never cease to amaze me with their love for the Lord. I don't know what I will do without them texting me at all hours of the night/morning asking me to explain a passage or simply to demand that I plan a Golden Spoon/Guitar Hero night.

My family (Shannon included in this category) is another tough topic. I have never been away from Shannon since the fourth grade. The farthest I have ever been away from my mom was at U of A for a year (a whole hour an a half drive-woo!) Thinking about leaving them makes me want to walk away from God just so I won't be accountable for what he is revealing to me. Not being able to see them every day is going to be the hardest challenge that God has put before me in my life thus far.

Lauren, Vanessa, Katie and Andrew, Brandy, Travis, Ryan and Lindsey, Stacia, Amanda, Kelsey, Ron and Anna, Jeff, Travis, Rashin, Kailyn, Kim, Matt, Steve, Lindsey, Eli...this list of people who I love and are the reason I am drawing closer to this God that loves me more than comprehensible could go on and on. I just want to stop for a second and Praise God for everyone (listed and not) that has been in my life this past year...it hasn't been an easy one but I have never been so blessed and joyful. This past year was so pivotal for me and words just can't express how grateful I am for your hearts throughout it.

I guess I will end with advice for myself from scripture: Matthew 6:25-34...worrying about where God might want to take me is pointless. Instead I am going to be content with where ever God wants me to go, knowing that if I am following Him I will never be led astray. God keeps bringing me back to the book of Acts. Acts 5:41 says the apostles were rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering. I pray daily for a faith like that. The apostles looked at anguish and distress but counted it as gain (Philippians 1:21- thanks Tori) because they know that their Father in heaven had a reward for them that was worth all of the suffering they had to endure on this Earth. Matthew 19:29-30 promises that anyone who leaves the comfort of their home, their families and friends "will receive a hundred times as much and inherit eternal life". To think that God would even think about choosing me to do that work, that I could ever be worthy enough to be a missionary throughout the nations for Christ...it blows my mind to think about. If that is the calling that God has for me, I would be astonished to be considered worthy of such mission and even though it might be the hardest thing I could ever do; to give up a life of comfort and convenience and proximity to the ones I love and care about most on this Earth, I would do it in a heartbeat. I get that my life is for HIS purpose, not my own and if that means spreading the gospel throughout the world then I praise God for seeing me worthy of such work.